GET OUT TRIP
The story starts out with two very alacritous action-deprived youth blighted with ennui induced by sedentary work(or the lack of it) making up their minds to do something different.Ergo starts the search for greener pastures; strangely enough the young men reside amidst sylvan surroundings far away from the usual humdrum and they decide to head to the concrete jungle in search of , you got it , greener pastures.
The preparations are made; the pills are popped , the bowels are cleansed , the armpits are deodorized, the facial hair is shed , the underwear is changed , the paunch is tucked , the customary pleasantries with the sweet shop seth around the corner are exchanged. Then starts the long agonizing wait for the public transport to arrive. What do you do when you're forced to wait for the bus to arrive?? Try imitating the cow down the road, pop in the gum and get bovine on it , CHEW THE CUD. The wait continues. The bus tests their patience; their bowels on the verge of impending doom thanks to some "purgative palak paneer" they'd indulged in the earlier night, fie on mess food!! "Is the goddam pill working ?Do we head back home?" They can hear the ceramic pot enclosed in that 4 feet by 6 feet dingy corner of "HOME" calling to them. Calling to them like Mena Suvari in the "American Beauty", calling to them like "The One Ring" calls evil Smeagol aka Gollum in "LOTR". They decide against it, let's live dangerously they decide. This negative train of thought's brought to an end by the arrival of the bus.
The journey's uneventful , the pill's working (thank god!!).Arrive at the station, time now for a trip in the auto. The auto-wallah is a grumbling cuss who manages to attend to all the itches on his body during the bargain session which lasts all of two minutes resulting in the meek capitulation of our young men. Where art they headed? Fergusson College , Pune's very own purple patch. Boys alight from their vehicle , dressed confidently in formal wear , with high hopes ,with unabated confidence, with raging inspiration percolating in incessant perspiration. One of these two bright young guys had indulged in a very insightful conversation with his colleagues, who'd pointed to "APACHE The Fluid Lounge" conveniently terming it the oasis in the purple patch. "The 'Fluid' Lounge" , wow !! the guy who came up with the epithet surely must have had a 'seminal' epiphany. Back to the story now, the boys head in , the place's vacant . Time now for the dudes to exchange sheepish expressions "Where be the schwiiiiing?"( Word of advise, people who persist to read this blog ought to watch "Wayne's World" and idolize Garth and his talismanic "Schwiiiing"). "Too early da !!". They decide to head to the Indian Coffee shop round the corner ,ergo enter Cafe Coffee Day outlet :D. One Chicken Tikka Super Sandwich, One Chicken Burger , One Cafe Mocha , One Piping Hot tongue-singing Cappuccino and two hours of shameless ogling later you'd imagine the boys to be spent men. But NO !! " NO ! NO ! NO! NO! NO!" as James Hetfield puts it. This was the appetizer, they've only whetted their appetite, the main course's yet to follow; well that's what the usually bovine, phlegmatic and perceived-to-be anything but prurient one of the duo thought so. Coffee done , its dark outside , the lounge must have got greener or purpler(heck! whatever !).
Enter APACHE, they head upstairs. The GOOD boy lays eyes on a WOMAN , beats the other to a vantage position to lech from. The defeated is not to be ; the WOMAN starts yacking and he's left wondering whether its Gujurati , Marathi or plain sugar-free gibberish, but the defeated does admit,the WOMAN was full of "IT". Time to order. 2 pints of Kingfisher's finest beer plus a plate of Chicken Tikka side dish. Order arrives, CHEERS, the good guy bravely takes a swig of the effervescent fluid and grimaces. Meanwhile the other chap's downed the goods in a gulp and is impatient for the barbecued formerly winged-one to arrive. The grimacing continues, much to the vexation of the famished one who volunteers to empty the bottle. Another swig and he's done with the sucker. A minute goes by , another goes by, and finally its ten minutes. The guzzler realizes he's just done two pints on an empty stomach. OK !! before all you seasoned chaps out there get all judgmental about the 5% v/v drink , try doing two pints on an empty stomach post over-night "purging" and consequent sleep deprivation , I dare thee!! The guzzler starts feeling swingy, he's Elvis now , Jumping Jack Jithendra next , the WOMAN blabbering the gibberish is the temptress Rekha . And then comes the "CALL OF K'THE LOO'". This is one thing that the guzzler hates about the wholesome goodness of the fermented barley elixir, when it makes him resort to some bacchanalian Shakespearian " To pee or not to pee , THAT is INDEED THE question ." Trip to the loo , wheeeeeeee !! Back upstairs , pay the bill , get out . Oh crap ! I've got to pee , second trip to the loo , wheeeeee !! Meanwhile ,the GOOD boy is having an awesome time cracking up at the guzzler's condition. The guzzler comes back , he's famished and high ,the duo head to the Udupi restaurant right across the college and settle in.Two WOMEN sit on the table next to them. In a moment of sheer beer-driven bravado the guzzler turns to the beau on the adjacent table - "Hate to bother you!! How do we get to the station? Is it more economical , ergo advisable to take the bus from that bus stop over there." Pretty WOMAN bulbs, replies "I don't know!!" . " Tsk tsk !!Poor thing!! Hope her earnest wish which she took the trouble to print out on the skin-tight tee shirt comes true" wonders the guzzler. The t-shirt reads "I wish these were my brains" :D ( I swear !! So much for stereotypes). The order arrives.Done with eating the rava dosa and paying the bill , guzzler has a very "pressing" impediment , another trip to the loo , wheeeeeeee !! Amidst the throes of involuntary fluid expulsion, the guzzler is quite content and happy,he lets go an emphatic sigh " TOTALLY WORTH IT !!"
END OF STORY :D
(The story might seem quite anticlimactic but the events following the final trip to the "SAFE HAVEN" are BORRRIIIIIIIING , hence the author has conveniently excluded them.)
The preparations are made; the pills are popped , the bowels are cleansed , the armpits are deodorized, the facial hair is shed , the underwear is changed , the paunch is tucked , the customary pleasantries with the sweet shop seth around the corner are exchanged. Then starts the long agonizing wait for the public transport to arrive. What do you do when you're forced to wait for the bus to arrive?? Try imitating the cow down the road, pop in the gum and get bovine on it , CHEW THE CUD. The wait continues. The bus tests their patience; their bowels on the verge of impending doom thanks to some "purgative palak paneer" they'd indulged in the earlier night, fie on mess food!! "Is the goddam pill working ?Do we head back home?" They can hear the ceramic pot enclosed in that 4 feet by 6 feet dingy corner of "HOME" calling to them. Calling to them like Mena Suvari in the "American Beauty", calling to them like "The One Ring" calls evil Smeagol aka Gollum in "LOTR". They decide against it, let's live dangerously they decide. This negative train of thought's brought to an end by the arrival of the bus.
The journey's uneventful , the pill's working (thank god!!).Arrive at the station, time now for a trip in the auto. The auto-wallah is a grumbling cuss who manages to attend to all the itches on his body during the bargain session which lasts all of two minutes resulting in the meek capitulation of our young men. Where art they headed? Fergusson College , Pune's very own purple patch. Boys alight from their vehicle , dressed confidently in formal wear , with high hopes ,with unabated confidence, with raging inspiration percolating in incessant perspiration. One of these two bright young guys had indulged in a very insightful conversation with his colleagues, who'd pointed to "APACHE The Fluid Lounge" conveniently terming it the oasis in the purple patch. "The 'Fluid' Lounge" , wow !! the guy who came up with the epithet surely must have had a 'seminal' epiphany. Back to the story now, the boys head in , the place's vacant . Time now for the dudes to exchange sheepish expressions "Where be the schwiiiiing?"( Word of advise, people who persist to read this blog ought to watch "Wayne's World" and idolize Garth and his talismanic "Schwiiiing"). "Too early da !!". They decide to head to the Indian Coffee shop round the corner ,ergo enter Cafe Coffee Day outlet :D. One Chicken Tikka Super Sandwich, One Chicken Burger , One Cafe Mocha , One Piping Hot tongue-singing Cappuccino and two hours of shameless ogling later you'd imagine the boys to be spent men. But NO !! " NO ! NO ! NO! NO! NO!" as James Hetfield puts it. This was the appetizer, they've only whetted their appetite, the main course's yet to follow; well that's what the usually bovine, phlegmatic and perceived-to-be anything but prurient one of the duo thought so. Coffee done , its dark outside , the lounge must have got greener or purpler(heck! whatever !).
Enter APACHE, they head upstairs. The GOOD boy lays eyes on a WOMAN , beats the other to a vantage position to lech from. The defeated is not to be ; the WOMAN starts yacking and he's left wondering whether its Gujurati , Marathi or plain sugar-free gibberish, but the defeated does admit,the WOMAN was full of "IT". Time to order. 2 pints of Kingfisher's finest beer plus a plate of Chicken Tikka side dish. Order arrives, CHEERS, the good guy bravely takes a swig of the effervescent fluid and grimaces. Meanwhile the other chap's downed the goods in a gulp and is impatient for the barbecued formerly winged-one to arrive. The grimacing continues, much to the vexation of the famished one who volunteers to empty the bottle. Another swig and he's done with the sucker. A minute goes by , another goes by, and finally its ten minutes. The guzzler realizes he's just done two pints on an empty stomach. OK !! before all you seasoned chaps out there get all judgmental about the 5% v/v drink , try doing two pints on an empty stomach post over-night "purging" and consequent sleep deprivation , I dare thee!! The guzzler starts feeling swingy, he's Elvis now , Jumping Jack Jithendra next , the WOMAN blabbering the gibberish is the temptress Rekha . And then comes the "CALL OF K'THE LOO'". This is one thing that the guzzler hates about the wholesome goodness of the fermented barley elixir, when it makes him resort to some bacchanalian Shakespearian " To pee or not to pee , THAT is INDEED THE question ." Trip to the loo , wheeeeeeee !! Back upstairs , pay the bill , get out . Oh crap ! I've got to pee , second trip to the loo , wheeeeee !! Meanwhile ,the GOOD boy is having an awesome time cracking up at the guzzler's condition. The guzzler comes back , he's famished and high ,the duo head to the Udupi restaurant right across the college and settle in.Two WOMEN sit on the table next to them. In a moment of sheer beer-driven bravado the guzzler turns to the beau on the adjacent table - "Hate to bother you!! How do we get to the station? Is it more economical , ergo advisable to take the bus from that bus stop over there." Pretty WOMAN bulbs, replies "I don't know!!" . " Tsk tsk !!Poor thing!! Hope her earnest wish which she took the trouble to print out on the skin-tight tee shirt comes true" wonders the guzzler. The t-shirt reads "I wish these were my brains" :D ( I swear !! So much for stereotypes). The order arrives.Done with eating the rava dosa and paying the bill , guzzler has a very "pressing" impediment , another trip to the loo , wheeeeeeee !! Amidst the throes of involuntary fluid expulsion, the guzzler is quite content and happy,he lets go an emphatic sigh " TOTALLY WORTH IT !!"
END OF STORY :D
(The story might seem quite anticlimactic but the events following the final trip to the "SAFE HAVEN" are BORRRIIIIIIIING , hence the author has conveniently excluded them.)
Comments
Whats with you and your GRE words obsession man. Cut it out, fuckin let the mortals also understand some of the stuff.
Nevertheless, the expressive self has expressed itself. I am more than eager to realize what Schwiiing is on your comp.
Neat and fuckin hilarious post. :D
I wish these were my brains.. :D :D
And may I know who the guzzler was and who the other guy was?
mechanic and you right..
(btw, hilarious!)